I wanted to destroy something beautiful. (utenasama) wrote,
I wanted to destroy something beautiful.

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A Leap Of Faith.

My father was a schizophrenic and now I too hear voices. The oddest thing is that there is no way in hell that these voices could have came from my mind. They talk about subjects I have never heard of before. They talk in numbers, and often over each other. They pretend to be a family of psychics or telepaths, criminals out for credit card numbers and such but they often screw up and let the truth slide in. They use a real name or a real occurance in their lives and it just freaks me out. Most schizophrenics I have known hear voices telling them to do things, but mine just comment on what I see and do and often threaten to harm by eavesdropping, by some kind of credit fraud or by simply singing my own stupid social security number to me. They exclaim Hallelujah often, yet take no response to God or any of the Priests I talk of and they seem to have no fear of prison or the law.

I know it sounds far fetched but these voices are controllable not with medication but with thought and the lack of it. The less I think to hear them the more angry, yet quieter they become, and always in a southern accent. I live in the California valley.

Does anyone have any ideas about curses, spells, voodoo or basic telepathic/psychic crime? I would love to handle this through faith and through natural betterment instead of relying on science to find the right pill.

It's all for nothing if I can't avenge my mind pirates someday!
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